[ he's still slightly unsure about being in public after everything but he can't hide forever and he figures that if someone's going to come after him again, they wouldn't do it in such a public place. the bar's decently lit all things considered and there's enough eyes here that he's able to relax somewhat.
still, he's a little more tense than he normally would be while he waits. that's the main reason he orders a drink as he sits down. it's not healthy, using that to cope with the jitters but he doesn't care.
he's earned a drink, he thinks. and it's not water, something he really does not want to see ever again. hard to do considering he's gotta shower but that's the only time he really gets near it.
he sips at the drink and waits for bobbi to get there. ]
scratch that: it's been a rough couple of weeks (or months, really) - but the last days have felt especially rough. between the missing time from when she'd been gone herself to fitz and peggy and dick being gone, bobbi's been feeling this place drag her down. she won't let it, not in the long run, but she's not going to deny that she's missing her friends. the apartment is empty without fitz and she feels the loss of her friends acutely.
still, she's too good a spy and an actress to let it show much. maybe she looks a little tired when she makes it to the bar, but she's put together, all long legs and blonde hair and an apologetic ] Sorry I'm late. Had to finish running a simulation at work.
[ that's not even a lie.
she sis down next to marcos, ordering a glass of wine when a waiter comes by, and then turns to him. a little softer: ] Hi.
Hey. [ he waits for the waiter to bring her drink back before he says anything else. the waiter's not going to do anything to him but he's going to be a little jumpy for awhile, he knows. it's stupid. he hates it. ]
You're good, I got here a little early. When you gotta work, you gotta work. [ and her work was a lot more important than meeting him for a drink. besides, she was here now. ]
How's it going? [ a dumb question, he knows, and he doesn't even know what she's been dealing with personally. he just knows the emp bomb had been a headache all around for one reason or another. no one had been protected form it. ] You all right?
[ bobbi excels at reading people. she's always been good at it and years of experience as a shield agent has only honed the skill. she notices that he's jumpier than usual. she knows he was taken - not by whom or why, exactly, but that he was in bad shape. it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots, but she isn't going to point that out. not right now, anyway. ]
Yeah, I am.
[ and that's the truth. she's been better, but she's definitely all right. she missed a lot of the headache of the emp bomb, coming back in the midst of that from wherever she'd gone. ]
Missing a few people, but aside from that? Yeah. You?
You know. [ he taps a finger against the bar and then shrugs, trying to look and sound casual about it. ] Talking to walls.
[ that wasn't actually true. he'd talked to himself a few times but who didn't do that? he wasn't doing it anymore than normal. ]
Missing a few people? [ he tries to think if he's noticed anyone in his small circle gone. he doesn't think so but he knows he's been focused elsewhere the last few days. ] Close friends?
A lot of people. I'm sorry. Can't be easy to deal with that many in such a short amount of time. [ it doesn't bring anyone back and it almost sounds trite and hollow to say but it's the only words he can think of. it sucks, plain and simple, but it's one of those things that happens here. you don't want to prepare for it and expect it because that makes it real but it's always there in the back of your mind.
he knows what she's saying with that comment and he exhales, eyes flicking down to his drink before he grabs it and takes a few long pulls. ]
I made a mistake. [ it takes him a little while to speak and when he does, he's still staring at his glass. ] I don't know what you've heard, if anything, but I spent a few days in the company of some not so nice people because of it.
[ and she will, but for now? it does suck, he's not wrong about that. she lifts a hand to run through her hair, lips twisting into something lopsided, not quite a smile but close enough.
and then he continues and her expression grows more serious. ]
I only know what was shared on Prompto's network post. [ voice dipping a little lower, enough that it certainly won't carry in a place with as much background noise as this bar. ] That you were in bad shape.
[ it's not easy to admit because he'd really been no help at all while they'd been trying to get out of there. he'd just been...there. barely able to stay conscious, barely able to breathe, barely able to do anything. ]
It wasn't — [ he stops abruptly and resists the urge to rub at his chest. there was nothing there, he was fine, but it was still something he felt like he had to do sometimes just to make sure. ] It would have been a great chance for you to see my blood because there was a lot of it.
[ it's a terrible joke, he knows. not untrue but terrible. ]
[ bobbi's lips press together. she doesn't know any of the details, but it's clear that whatever happened, it's affecting him -- and from the hints he's dropping, she can't blame him for that.
the sympathy in her expression, in her tone isn't an act. ]
[ he finishes his drink but doesn't immediately order a new one. he knows how that'd look and he doesn't need put out any more warning signs. ]
I helped stop a few looters during the whole EMP thing. Maybe a little more aggressively than should have been done but they weren't just going to stop because we asked them nicely to, you know?
[ a lot more? maybe a lot more. ]
Apparently, they were...well connected. [ or connected enough. ] I didn't even see them coming, you know? Woke up in some dank building tied to a chair.
[ and that was just the beginning. ]
I think I was there for...two days. I lost track of time.
[ bobbi hesitates for a moment before reaching out. the gesture's slow -- it might seem uncertain, but really, her main intention is to telegraph it well, not to surprise him with it. to give him time to withdraw, if touch isn't welcome.
if he doesn't, she'll put a hand on his arm, high enough that it's above the sleeve instead of on his bare skin. (she thinks back to the day he'd first met her, to putting her hand over his, the empathy bond - to the way he'd turned his hand and squeezed hers.
she doesn't want to force the empathy bond on him now, if he's already feeling raw and exposed. but if he needed to borrow some strength? -- well, she's here.) ]
Did you survive?
[ she hates that she has to ask, but she's infinitely glad that death doesn't necessarily mean the end here -- and that there seem to be fewer ill-effects than coulson had been suffering after being revived. ]
[ he doesn't flinch away but he does appreciate her being slow about it. he knows he's jumpy and if she's being that deliberate, she's seen it too. touch is...he's not afraid of it necessarily but he hasn't really been seeking it out either. when her hand lands on his arms, he shudders a bit, not out of revulsion or dislike but just plain relief that he's able to bear it. ]
I think so.
[ he's pretty sure he'd been close to dying but hadn't gotten all the way there. ]
But there was...I didn't want to survive at one point.
[ he breathes out, a shaky thing and rubs his brow. ]
[ he doesn't pull away, despite the shudder, and so bobbi leaves her hand where it is. hopefully it's more of a tether, a reminder that he's alive, more of a comfort than anything else.
she can't say that she's been there -- but she's been hurt and she's been captured and tortured before. she can't tell him that without blowing her cover and while she thinks she'd trust marcos with it, there's no point in adding to the things on his mind right now just to offer him some additional measure of sympathy. ]
I think maybe you don't have to know. [ she says after a while. it can just be the kind of thing that needs time to come to grips with. ]
[ he doesn't want to die and he knows that for a fact. he doesn't want to constantly have to look over his shoulder either but he'll take the trade off if it means he gets to stay alive for a little while longer.
could that change tomorrow? the next day? the next week? he knows it's a possibility especially with this hanging over his head for however long but it's still a chance. ]
That sounds like I need someone to watch me twenty four seven which isn't the case. It's just...there's a lot to sort through.
[ if that made sense. ] I'm a little off if he couldn't tell. I know I'm not making it obvious or anything.
It sounds like you went through something traumatic. No shame in that.
[ she squeezes his arm briefly before letting go to reach for her glass instead, taking a large sip of her wine. their being here isn't great to begin with, but what he went through goes far beyond that, by the sound of it. there definitely is no shame in struggling. ]
[ now, he finally signals the bartender for another drink. nothing too strong but definitely something with a slight punch. ]
I'm fine.
[ right as rain. ]
And it'll be fine. [ eventually. ] That's a lot more talking about me than I'm used to and it was all bad. Sorry about that. Shouldn't have dumped it on you.
[ and she did. she signals the bartender for another glass of wine, too, despite the fact that hers isn't entirely empty yet. it'll get there; of that, she has no doubt.
lips pulling up a little on one side, she asks: ] Better than a wall?
[ he sits back a little, exhaling a quiet, quick laugh before reaching for his drink and twisting and turning the glass with his fingers while he gathered his thoughts. ]
Thanks for being better than a wall. [ not that that was much of a compliment but it's sincerely said all the same. ] Feel like I should give you the chance to get anything off your chest since you just let me unload.
[ so, you know, feel free. ]
Even if it's how about people just constantly talk your ear off. I won't be offended.
[ she means it, too. it's good that this was better than talking to a wall, even if that's a seemingly low standard -- sometimes, not having an audience to one's emotion is preferable, after all. so it's still a bit of a compliment. ]
I don't actually mind people talking my ear off, you know. [ she says, flashing a quick grin, although she sobers up pretty quickly after. ]
[ he's gotten lucky in that he hasn't lost anyone because he hasn't been here long enough to make too many connections. he knows that that's a possibility, a danger of this place but it's hard to cut that part of yourself off. ]
I wish I could say that you were welcome at my place anytime but I don't have one of those right now. Not of my own, at least. So, you can always call me, though. I tend to be around.
[ especially now with the loss of his job and the bouncing back and forth between places while he figured out where to live since the safehouse was out. ]
And I might not be the greatest company but I can strive for above average.
[ once upon a time, he'd been one of the people she'd lost. of course, they hadn't been as close as she'd grown to dick, as intimate as she'd been with thor -- not to mention fitz and peggy who knew who she really was, what she could do, with whom she didn't pretend to be something she's not. ]
Thank you. And hey, same goes.
[ although - ] I do have a place of my own now, but I'm going to need new roommates if I want to keep it.
[ she lifts a hand to run through her hair, sighing a little. ] I hadn't considered that yet. [ yes, she had. ]
You're managing above average just fine, you know. [ with a hint of a smile, before she sobers up again, pitching her voice a little lower. ] I think it's - there's so much about this place that doesn't make sense, that we're figuring out - or not figuring out, as the case may be. And then something so mundane and normal and universal as loss comes and it blindsides you.
[ well. ]
I'm choosing to believe they've gone back home, all of them.
[ which means she'll never see dick or thor again, not this thor at least, until they come back here. ]
[ maybe he'll even take her up on that offer more than once in a blue moon all things considered. talking about what's happened to him has made him feel a little less like he's going to explode so maybe he'll do that more often.
he reaches for his drink and finishes it slowly. ]
I'm sure you'll find people willing to go in with you. The safehouse was crowded last I was there. [ but it'd be a little less crowded now that he couldn't and wouldn't go back just to make sure everyone was safe. ]
I think you've hit on what makes this place hard sometimes. You think you adapt and have things figured out and something new happens to make you realize that you don't. You tell yourself you're not going to make connections or open that part of yourself up and then you do and then...something like this happens.
[ people left and they took a part of you with them. ]
They've gone back home. I'm good with thinking that. And I bet they'll think of you every once in awhile too.
Yeah, I'm not worried about not finding anyone. I'm more worried about finding someone I won't mind taking over the room of a good friend.
[ she'd like to think that she's easy-going, but she doesn't want to have to pretend at home as much as she pretends every moment that she's not at home. she wants it to be a space where she can truly relax and let her guard down - as much as she ever does, anyway.
which - marcos doesn't know who she is, not really, but she could imagine telling him. half-jokingly: ] I don't suppose you need a place, do you?
[ she sighs a little, even if it's tempered with a half-smile a moment later. ] Yeah, it can be hard. But thinking they're home and all right definitely helps.
I get that. You don't want to give a room to someone you don't really know especially in a place like this. There's gotta be some level of trust.
[ you don't want to give it to the wrong person who might put you in even more danger than you already were in just by living here or someone who made you uncomfortable. ]
I've been couch surfing for awhile now. [ so, maybe he did need a place. ] I can't go back to the safehouse anymore. I don't want to put anyone in danger.
[ and he was careful about where he went even now just in case. ] So, I'm having to be cautious about where I go. So, I don't drag trouble behind me.
action ⇉ sometime in late november
still, he's a little more tense than he normally would be while he waits. that's the main reason he orders a drink as he sits down. it's not healthy, using that to cope with the jitters but he doesn't care.
he's earned a drink, he thinks. and it's not water, something he really does not want to see ever again. hard to do considering he's gotta shower but that's the only time he really gets near it.
he sips at the drink and waits for bobbi to get there. ]
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scratch that: it's been a rough couple of weeks (or months, really) - but the last days have felt especially rough. between the missing time from when she'd been gone herself to fitz and peggy and dick being gone, bobbi's been feeling this place drag her down. she won't let it, not in the long run, but she's not going to deny that she's missing her friends. the apartment is empty without fitz and she feels the loss of her friends acutely.
still, she's too good a spy and an actress to let it show much. maybe she looks a little tired when she makes it to the bar, but she's put together, all long legs and blonde hair and an apologetic ] Sorry I'm late. Had to finish running a simulation at work.
[ that's not even a lie.
she sis down next to marcos, ordering a glass of wine when a waiter comes by, and then turns to him. a little softer: ] Hi.
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You're good, I got here a little early. When you gotta work, you gotta work. [ and her work was a lot more important than meeting him for a drink. besides, she was here now. ]
How's it going? [ a dumb question, he knows, and he doesn't even know what she's been dealing with personally. he just knows the emp bomb had been a headache all around for one reason or another. no one had been protected form it. ] You all right?
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Yeah, I am.
[ and that's the truth. she's been better, but she's definitely all right. she missed a lot of the headache of the emp bomb, coming back in the midst of that from wherever she'd gone. ]
Missing a few people, but aside from that? Yeah. You?
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[ that wasn't actually true. he'd talked to himself a few times but who didn't do that? he wasn't doing it anymore than normal. ]
Missing a few people? [ he tries to think if he's noticed anyone in his small circle gone. he doesn't think so but he knows he's been focused elsewhere the last few days. ] Close friends?
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[ admittedly, she hadn't known peggy before coming here - at least not in person. of peggy, decidedly. ]
Nothing wrong with talking to walls, but I find talking to people's nicer. [ there's an offer in there. ]
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he knows what she's saying with that comment and he exhales, eyes flicking down to his drink before he grabs it and takes a few long pulls. ]
I made a mistake. [ it takes him a little while to speak and when he does, he's still staring at his glass. ] I don't know what you've heard, if anything, but I spent a few days in the company of some not so nice people because of it.
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[ and she will, but for now? it does suck, he's not wrong about that. she lifts a hand to run through her hair, lips twisting into something lopsided, not quite a smile but close enough.
and then he continues and her expression grows more serious. ]
I only know what was shared on Prompto's network post. [ voice dipping a little lower, enough that it certainly won't carry in a place with as much background noise as this bar. ] That you were in bad shape.
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[ it's not easy to admit because he'd really been no help at all while they'd been trying to get out of there. he'd just been...there. barely able to stay conscious, barely able to breathe, barely able to do anything. ]
It wasn't — [ he stops abruptly and resists the urge to rub at his chest. there was nothing there, he was fine, but it was still something he felt like he had to do sometimes just to make sure. ] It would have been a great chance for you to see my blood because there was a lot of it.
[ it's a terrible joke, he knows. not untrue but terrible. ]
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the sympathy in her expression, in her tone isn't an act. ]
What happened?
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I helped stop a few looters during the whole EMP thing. Maybe a little more aggressively than should have been done but they weren't just going to stop because we asked them nicely to, you know?
[ a lot more? maybe a lot more. ]
Apparently, they were...well connected. [ or connected enough. ] I didn't even see them coming, you know? Woke up in some dank building tied to a chair.
[ and that was just the beginning. ]
I think I was there for...two days. I lost track of time.
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if he doesn't, she'll put a hand on his arm, high enough that it's above the sleeve instead of on his bare skin. (she thinks back to the day he'd first met her, to putting her hand over his, the empathy bond - to the way he'd turned his hand and squeezed hers.
she doesn't want to force the empathy bond on him now, if he's already feeling raw and exposed. but if he needed to borrow some strength? -- well, she's here.) ]
Did you survive?
[ she hates that she has to ask, but she's infinitely glad that death doesn't necessarily mean the end here -- and that there seem to be fewer ill-effects than coulson had been suffering after being revived. ]
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I think so.
[ he's pretty sure he'd been close to dying but hadn't gotten all the way there. ]
But there was...I didn't want to survive at one point.
[ he breathes out, a shaky thing and rubs his brow. ]
I don't know how to really think about that.
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she can't say that she's been there -- but she's been hurt and she's been captured and tortured before. she can't tell him that without blowing her cover and while she thinks she'd trust marcos with it, there's no point in adding to the things on his mind right now just to offer him some additional measure of sympathy. ]
I think maybe you don't have to know. [ she says after a while. it can just be the kind of thing that needs time to come to grips with. ]
How do you feel about surviving now?
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[ he doesn't want to die and he knows that for a fact. he doesn't want to constantly have to look over his shoulder either but he'll take the trade off if it means he gets to stay alive for a little while longer.
could that change tomorrow? the next day? the next week? he knows it's a possibility especially with this hanging over his head for however long but it's still a chance. ]
That sounds like I need someone to watch me twenty four seven which isn't the case. It's just...there's a lot to sort through.
[ if that made sense. ] I'm a little off if he couldn't tell. I know I'm not making it obvious or anything.
[ ha ha. ]
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[ she squeezes his arm briefly before letting go to reach for her glass instead, taking a large sip of her wine. their being here isn't great to begin with, but what he went through goes far beyond that, by the sound of it. there definitely is no shame in struggling. ]
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[ now, he finally signals the bartender for another drink. nothing too strong but definitely something with a slight punch. ]
I'm fine.
[ right as rain. ]
And it'll be fine. [ eventually. ] That's a lot more talking about me than I'm used to and it was all bad. Sorry about that. Shouldn't have dumped it on you.
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[ and she did. she signals the bartender for another glass of wine, too, despite the fact that hers isn't entirely empty yet. it'll get there; of that, she has no doubt.
lips pulling up a little on one side, she asks: ] Better than a wall?
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[ he sits back a little, exhaling a quiet, quick laugh before reaching for his drink and twisting and turning the glass with his fingers while he gathered his thoughts. ]
Thanks for being better than a wall. [ not that that was much of a compliment but it's sincerely said all the same. ] Feel like I should give you the chance to get anything off your chest since you just let me unload.
[ so, you know, feel free. ]
Even if it's how about people just constantly talk your ear off. I won't be offended.
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[ she means it, too. it's good that this was better than talking to a wall, even if that's a seemingly low standard -- sometimes, not having an audience to one's emotion is preferable, after all. so it's still a bit of a compliment. ]
I don't actually mind people talking my ear off, you know. [ she says, flashing a quick grin, although she sobers up pretty quickly after. ]
It beats an empty apartment.
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[ he's gotten lucky in that he hasn't lost anyone because he hasn't been here long enough to make too many connections. he knows that that's a possibility, a danger of this place but it's hard to cut that part of yourself off. ]
I wish I could say that you were welcome at my place anytime but I don't have one of those right now. Not of my own, at least. So, you can always call me, though. I tend to be around.
[ especially now with the loss of his job and the bouncing back and forth between places while he figured out where to live since the safehouse was out. ]
And I might not be the greatest company but I can strive for above average.
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Thank you. And hey, same goes.
[ although - ] I do have a place of my own now, but I'm going to need new roommates if I want to keep it.
[ she lifts a hand to run through her hair, sighing a little. ] I hadn't considered that yet. [ yes, she had. ]
You're managing above average just fine, you know. [ with a hint of a smile, before she sobers up again, pitching her voice a little lower. ] I think it's - there's so much about this place that doesn't make sense, that we're figuring out - or not figuring out, as the case may be. And then something so mundane and normal and universal as loss comes and it blindsides you.
[ well. ]
I'm choosing to believe they've gone back home, all of them.
[ which means she'll never see dick or thor again, not this thor at least, until they come back here. ]
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[ maybe he'll even take her up on that offer more than once in a blue moon all things considered. talking about what's happened to him has made him feel a little less like he's going to explode so maybe he'll do that more often.
he reaches for his drink and finishes it slowly. ]
I'm sure you'll find people willing to go in with you. The safehouse was crowded last I was there. [ but it'd be a little less crowded now that he couldn't and wouldn't go back just to make sure everyone was safe. ]
I think you've hit on what makes this place hard sometimes. You think you adapt and have things figured out and something new happens to make you realize that you don't. You tell yourself you're not going to make connections or open that part of yourself up and then you do and then...something like this happens.
[ people left and they took a part of you with them. ]
They've gone back home. I'm good with thinking that. And I bet they'll think of you every once in awhile too.
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[ she'd like to think that she's easy-going, but she doesn't want to have to pretend at home as much as she pretends every moment that she's not at home. she wants it to be a space where she can truly relax and let her guard down - as much as she ever does, anyway.
which - marcos doesn't know who she is, not really, but she could imagine telling him. half-jokingly: ] I don't suppose you need a place, do you?
[ she sighs a little, even if it's tempered with a half-smile a moment later. ] Yeah, it can be hard. But thinking they're home and all right definitely helps.
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[ you don't want to give it to the wrong person who might put you in even more danger than you already were in just by living here or someone who made you uncomfortable. ]
I've been couch surfing for awhile now. [ so, maybe he did need a place. ] I can't go back to the safehouse anymore. I don't want to put anyone in danger.
[ and he was careful about where he went even now just in case. ] So, I'm having to be cautious about where I go. So, I don't drag trouble behind me.
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wanna leave it here and write their pizza night next?
yeah, i'm down!